Good evening Great Auntie Di. was going to say all readers but that may fall on deaf ears. It's been a while since I have sought your advice on this forum but have been hearing from you regularly over the last few days by email.
Now then, a question, your advice counts to me. Remember we were mentioning about shaving my legs (not the both of us doing it, just me). Well, as I seem to lack any form of a tan & time's running out, really only have tomorrow afternoon & Friday before I resort to a bottle tan as coming back next Thursday night, I thinking of the options to resolve it & best one to guarantee some sort of a tan. You likely see from the way I'm writing this, my mind's racing.
Right then. As I'm abit hairy, do you think that as time is limited & the hairiness may be blocking out those wonderful 45-50c degree rays, should I do 'an all over', well maybe not quite all over. Say chest & legs. That's the 1st issue to consider.
Then there's the method. I don't do pain so waxing is out & think that as I'd come round to the matter of shaving the other half of my shins & up to the bottom of my shorts, shaving is what I'd like to do. I thought I cracked this whole issue but one event has now knocked me back again. Great Auntie Di, I'm going round in circles here.
The event happened pre work today. Decided I'd use my new Gillette Fusion Power razor & on power mode (it is a dual one, you can use it as a normal razor!!). It was a wonderful shave, my face feels so so smooth, I have it on good word, sadly from myself. But, my faith servant Gillette Mach3 Turbo has performed so well for many years, it seems I'm torn between loyalty & the 'feel good factor'. Do you have any experience in this field, I can't remember whether Gillette offer the equivalent for ladies, it's been so long!!! Maybe you prefer wax, I don't know but do need your guidance here.
I really hope you can guide me through this traumatic time, things were going to well today until I got into the lift tonight, glanced at myself in the mirror & thought - Mark, your legs look as daft as you are & the people who see you when you get home, will think you never get out. Well that bit is true. I'm working hard all day where the lunatics run the asylum!!!
Wednesday, 20 August 2008
Monday, 18 August 2008
Your Cry Is Answered!
Yes, it's time I helped you after all, you've been great to me. Hence, as you will see on my comment re: Cry for Help & Mark of Arabia, I'm throwing you a lifebuoy to grab hold of. Go on, grab it, take a sabbatical & come to Bahrain. I may even add in a joint personal shopper role for you & Anne. Don't worry about Sam & Iona, I'll give you much more leave to visit them & also your husband, Alan of Scrabo. Once settled, you can find a place of your own to live & bring them all here too.
Now the main problem is obviously The LINK, what with both Anne & you leaving at the same time. Had you demonstrated to me more knowledge of unit of measurements & construction companies responsible for the almighty flood, I'd have offered you a job swap, I'm sure I'd have been more a 'fish out of water than you'. It would have been a simple case of 'sink or swim'. As I can't swim, I'd have sunk & as I like taking shortcuts, I'd have dived!! Anyway, I'm sure you'll find someone mad enough to do a job that some never realise what effort, time & dedication it takes & that's just during 'office hours'!!!
Now the main problem is obviously The LINK, what with both Anne & you leaving at the same time. Had you demonstrated to me more knowledge of unit of measurements & construction companies responsible for the almighty flood, I'd have offered you a job swap, I'm sure I'd have been more a 'fish out of water than you'. It would have been a simple case of 'sink or swim'. As I can't swim, I'd have sunk & as I like taking shortcuts, I'd have dived!! Anyway, I'm sure you'll find someone mad enough to do a job that some never realise what effort, time & dedication it takes & that's just during 'office hours'!!!
Cry for Help
I think Great Auntie Di needs help from Mr of Arabia.
Northern Ireland is in trouble. On Saturday past we had 7cms of rain in a day which is apparently what we normally have in a whole month of wet Sundays. Roads, houses, fields have all been flooded. Some bullocks had to swim for their lives. But the worst thing that happened could possibly have been prevented if you had been in the country and taken that Lagans job!! The new underpass at the end of the M1 just at the Royal totally filled with water. It became what could only be described as a bowl and 20 feet of water right up to the top!! Some poor man had to be rescued from the top of his car before he drowned and in the end they had to cut through the central reservation to let the cars escape.
All that money and planning - much of the money to Quantity Surveyors and no plughole to let the water go away. Where were you? Can you save us in the future? What can we do? Who is to blame? This is one too big for Great Auntie Di.
Northern Ireland is in trouble. On Saturday past we had 7cms of rain in a day which is apparently what we normally have in a whole month of wet Sundays. Roads, houses, fields have all been flooded. Some bullocks had to swim for their lives. But the worst thing that happened could possibly have been prevented if you had been in the country and taken that Lagans job!! The new underpass at the end of the M1 just at the Royal totally filled with water. It became what could only be described as a bowl and 20 feet of water right up to the top!! Some poor man had to be rescued from the top of his car before he drowned and in the end they had to cut through the central reservation to let the cars escape.
All that money and planning - much of the money to Quantity Surveyors and no plughole to let the water go away. Where were you? Can you save us in the future? What can we do? Who is to blame? This is one too big for Great Auntie Di.
Sunday, 17 August 2008
Let's Shut Them Both Down
I've just been reviewing both the blogsites & it seems that the 2 people who have the least time on their hands due to their commitments both at work & in their personal lives are, you Great Auntie Di & me, Mark of Arabia. Shall we, as respective blog administrators retract the permissions for them all to blog. No, that would be fair.
So what can I leave you tonight to consider - I'm not going to mention anything more about my eating habits, the proof will be in the pudding (sorry your pavlova) when you see me next week. While I do little exercise if I'm honest, I don't think I've put on much weight. But that's something you will be the judge of. I've lost abit of weight on my head - had head shaved last week & some also on my legs thanks to wearing office trousers again.
As the weather seems to be somewhat stormy over there, I'm faced with the decision of whether I should shave my legs up to halfway up my thighs like I am led to believe some females do. It's just that if the sun does shine while I'm back, I may get my pins out & don't want any funny remarks regarding my half hairy shins. What you recommend Great Auntie Di.
So what can I leave you tonight to consider - I'm not going to mention anything more about my eating habits, the proof will be in the pudding (sorry your pavlova) when you see me next week. While I do little exercise if I'm honest, I don't think I've put on much weight. But that's something you will be the judge of. I've lost abit of weight on my head - had head shaved last week & some also on my legs thanks to wearing office trousers again.
As the weather seems to be somewhat stormy over there, I'm faced with the decision of whether I should shave my legs up to halfway up my thighs like I am led to believe some females do. It's just that if the sun does shine while I'm back, I may get my pins out & don't want any funny remarks regarding my half hairy shins. What you recommend Great Auntie Di.
Saturday, 16 August 2008
The past is bright..the past is orange. Competition.
Ah..the secret of youth! Mmm look at those vibrant colours those lovely hair styles, those fresh faces of The Link staff. This is a time when Anne was a youthworker, MARC didn't exist instead there was CHAT!! Gareth had just joined as a trainee youth worker and Irene still looked happy. What year is it?
Wednesday, 13 August 2008
Promises, Promises!! I'm Still Waiting For Your Birthday Treat!!!
I refer to a comment you made on Mark of Arabia. I'd expected that I was in for a 'right going over from you.' It is yet to materialise & while I've cut down on the fags, reduced my tea intake & starting look after my physique, I wonder now it is all worth it.
Actually, I'm stopping there, the above could be read in the so much the wrong way. I have indeed cut down on the fags, why I don't know but maybe something to do with throwing my butt (cigarette) in the bin, locking my office door & heading out for lunch. When I got back I thought it was just the normal daily roll call but the sirens were heard & smoked was coming from the vicinity I realised not.
Fortunately, it had burnt only a little of the owner's portrait on the wall, melted little of a scale model of one of the largest oil refineries the company has ever built and there was still half of it left, I'd dropped the packet running up in the stairs to prevent our fire warden for making short work of the glass door with the sledgehammer.
I sat back down, flicked off the lights & waited to everyone else to file in before commenting that I couldn't find anyone to make me a cup of tea!!!! Now I feel like a schoolboy having to hide behind the back of the building while others watch me, mumbling under their breath - to think that we are actually paying that guy to stand there & smoke, what is this company thinking of.
That's maybe way I've cut down but don't try the first bit at home.
Actually, I'm stopping there, the above could be read in the so much the wrong way. I have indeed cut down on the fags, why I don't know but maybe something to do with throwing my butt (cigarette) in the bin, locking my office door & heading out for lunch. When I got back I thought it was just the normal daily roll call but the sirens were heard & smoked was coming from the vicinity I realised not.
Fortunately, it had burnt only a little of the owner's portrait on the wall, melted little of a scale model of one of the largest oil refineries the company has ever built and there was still half of it left, I'd dropped the packet running up in the stairs to prevent our fire warden for making short work of the glass door with the sledgehammer.
I sat back down, flicked off the lights & waited to everyone else to file in before commenting that I couldn't find anyone to make me a cup of tea!!!! Now I feel like a schoolboy having to hide behind the back of the building while others watch me, mumbling under their breath - to think that we are actually paying that guy to stand there & smoke, what is this company thinking of.
That's maybe way I've cut down but don't try the first bit at home.
Don't overfeed your lizard
You all know dear readers that Great Auntie Di tries to help out in a local community centre to support those dear souls who have yet not found access to her online support. Well, it is amazing the range of topics we are expected have knowledge of. As Virtual Methodist would always be my "phone a friend" on "Who wants to be a Millionaire" when I get on - perhaps he could turn his attention to this one which echoed down the corridor today. "Can you kill a lizard by overfeeding it?" We at The Link offer support to pre-school children, those with addictions, young people and older people, but sadly reptiles are not considered to be either a community relations or indeed community development issue. However, we offer a holistic service and I cry out to all of you other bloggers out there, please help me support this poor woman's plea.
Goldfish can indeed be killed remarkably easily by overfeeding - I think they keep forgetting that they have eaten once they've swum round the bowl once and then have another meal, and another, and another....
Goldfish can indeed be killed remarkably easily by overfeeding - I think they keep forgetting that they have eaten once they've swum round the bowl once and then have another meal, and another, and another....
Friday, 8 August 2008
I just thought that all my readers out there would benefit from seeing what happens to the skin of those those who don't exercise enough and eat excessive amounts of chocolate. Obviously excessive weight gain can be seen by the size of the head, but the man in question was only 39 year old when he succumbed to cocoa poisoning and scurvy.Belated advice
Dear Mr Of Arabia,
First of all can I apologise for the tardiness of this advice. Alas life over the last few days has been a little hectic in the Great Auntie Di household. Although you are wrong on one front. I suggest that Uncle Al's hands are not like yours as my hardworking husband doesn't do what he should and don the marigolds when he dutifuly does the dishes each evening. Indeed he has struggled with issues around chapped hands and has had to resort to the special fishermans hand creams for real men! Alas, this is not what will help in your case. There are indeed a number of handcreams that can be purchased with nail strengthener, but I recommend Sally Hansens "Hard as Nails" with strengthener. Brittle nails can be such a trial and Sally obviously has it sussed. Admittedly there can be a bit of a sheen and sparkle from your nails once this product is applied, but I'm sure those big Arab men will understand that it is for nail health reasons. Eating raw jelly (lots of jelatine) can see an improvement within a mere five days.
Alas on the tiredness, I must return to my other advice re exercise, although I would add that eating fresh fruit - (I'm sure the lovely Salah would cut it up for you if you asked him nicely) and vegetables would also help your energy levels, as would reducing your sugar intake from chocolate bars. I have no doubt that you will follow this advice to the letter and feel better within a few days.
First of all can I apologise for the tardiness of this advice. Alas life over the last few days has been a little hectic in the Great Auntie Di household. Although you are wrong on one front. I suggest that Uncle Al's hands are not like yours as my hardworking husband doesn't do what he should and don the marigolds when he dutifuly does the dishes each evening. Indeed he has struggled with issues around chapped hands and has had to resort to the special fishermans hand creams for real men! Alas, this is not what will help in your case. There are indeed a number of handcreams that can be purchased with nail strengthener, but I recommend Sally Hansens "Hard as Nails" with strengthener. Brittle nails can be such a trial and Sally obviously has it sussed. Admittedly there can be a bit of a sheen and sparkle from your nails once this product is applied, but I'm sure those big Arab men will understand that it is for nail health reasons. Eating raw jelly (lots of jelatine) can see an improvement within a mere five days.
Alas on the tiredness, I must return to my other advice re exercise, although I would add that eating fresh fruit - (I'm sure the lovely Salah would cut it up for you if you asked him nicely) and vegetables would also help your energy levels, as would reducing your sugar intake from chocolate bars. I have no doubt that you will follow this advice to the letter and feel better within a few days.
Advice Sought II
While grooming myself last night prior to retiring for the evening, I manicured my fingernails ( trimmed only, no nail varnish was in any pressies). I found (not the 1st time either) that my nails seem to be very brittle, more than they used to be. While my hands are very soft, likely more than some hard working females, I still use hand cream regularly in the hope some day that I may find a way to put them to use - suppose typing being one. However, it's not strengthening my nails & I'm alittle worried that should I accidentally hit them against something solid, the consequences may well be painful.
I would appreciate your advice on this, while I'm sure you do manicure your own nails, maybe Uncle Al or Alan of Scrabo or the Actor or your husband may be more suited to respond. His knowledge of male grooming may be more in depth than yours, and indeed, his hands are likely similar to mine - never done a hard day's work!!
I would appreciate your advice on this, while I'm sure you do manicure your own nails, maybe Uncle Al or Alan of Scrabo or the Actor or your husband may be more suited to respond. His knowledge of male grooming may be more in depth than yours, and indeed, his hands are likely similar to mine - never done a hard day's work!!
Wednesday, 6 August 2008
Advice Sought (again)
Have another problem & nothing to do with my Saudi Date nor my physical state although may, like the earphone problem, start to affect my mind.
Sitting here in my lunchhourandahalf trying to do the Suduko in the Arab News, it's a level 2 & I'm struggling with it. I do it most morning before I start work to test my mental state for the day, it's now lunchtime & I'm struggling with it. Is it a sign that my work productivity levels are going to be limited this afternoon.
Please help!!!
Sitting here in my lunchhourandahalf trying to do the Suduko in the Arab News, it's a level 2 & I'm struggling with it. I do it most morning before I start work to test my mental state for the day, it's now lunchtime & I'm struggling with it. Is it a sign that my work productivity levels are going to be limited this afternoon.
Please help!!!
Monday, 4 August 2008
Virtual Methodist Rouses himself on a Monday Morning
I may have risen from my bed this Monday morning, but I will not rise to the baiting re the number of days I work, except to say I that I thought that was the case when I signed on but didn't read the small print... Anyway, I'm actually going to work less than one day per week for a while as I am now on holiday for the next 13 days... Yipee! Mind you, it has started raining here in MI... and when it rains here it doesn't mess about... Its the whole "Thunder and Lightning very very frightning" bit...
But anyway... just to add my tuppence, not only has Markof Arabia said that the problem is with the short cable end of his headphones, the theory proposed by Auntie Di is one that confirms the age old stereotype of women not understanding physics very much...
1) Had it been sound carrying along the cables there would need to have been approximately 50m difference in the length of the headphone cables for there to be a discernable difference between each ear... Not a very handy length.
but
2) It isn't sound travelling along the cables... That may be how your bi-lateral eartrumpets work Auntie Di (she is getting terribly old after all)... but electricity (I'm sure you've heard of it). In that case it would require a difference of approximately 12, 000 miles between the cable lengths to cause them to be out of sync. If that indeed is the case then I suggest the problem is that the battery in your MP3 isn't strong enough to drive the circuit!
Alternatively, you've probably sat on the earphone and busted the connection!
As for the beard... I wouldn't bother shaving... They don't seem to be a problem re attracting suitable female-type company where you currently reside.
VM
But anyway... just to add my tuppence, not only has Markof Arabia said that the problem is with the short cable end of his headphones, the theory proposed by Auntie Di is one that confirms the age old stereotype of women not understanding physics very much...
1) Had it been sound carrying along the cables there would need to have been approximately 50m difference in the length of the headphone cables for there to be a discernable difference between each ear... Not a very handy length.
but
2) It isn't sound travelling along the cables... That may be how your bi-lateral eartrumpets work Auntie Di (she is getting terribly old after all)... but electricity (I'm sure you've heard of it). In that case it would require a difference of approximately 12, 000 miles between the cable lengths to cause them to be out of sync. If that indeed is the case then I suggest the problem is that the battery in your MP3 isn't strong enough to drive the circuit!
Alternatively, you've probably sat on the earphone and busted the connection!
As for the beard... I wouldn't bother shaving... They don't seem to be a problem re attracting suitable female-type company where you currently reside.
VM
Sunday, 3 August 2008
Mark of Arabia Responds
Let's go public on this, maybe more than the two of us plus the Virtual Methodist may join in. He's obviously a typical minister, works one day per week. I always have said that there's only one profession better - Santa Claus!!
Sadly, the earphone with the longer of the two wires is the one that produces the better sound. Your theory is logical but proven. It's the opposite in fact. It's also the opposite re: Graham, I need to repeat, repeat & speak louder to him plus today I've agreed a 50% reduction in my fee when I join MMG on a permanent basis. Bought more cotton buds on my shopping spree but these haven't helped either.
The sleep thing isn't really a problem, 5 hrs does me, get plenty of rest at work. Sadly I can't swim but would add I'm not frightened of water, had a shower sometime last week! My exercise amounts to walking up & down the stairs from my office on the 3rd floor to the 1st floor to try to establish why the 7 spreadsheet I have don't tie up even though the base data is the same!! I reckon that 50% of my time is actually spend away from the desk. Does that count as exercise.
The shaving thing is always been an issue with me, never have enjoyed it much since the day I nicked my left shin before entering a cycling competition. Think that in future, will try the waxing method. Thanks for the compliment re: looking more macho, hope it was to me direct, grateful that this time it's come from a female. Great Auntie Di, you've done my confidence the world of good!!!
Sadly, the earphone with the longer of the two wires is the one that produces the better sound. Your theory is logical but proven. It's the opposite in fact. It's also the opposite re: Graham, I need to repeat, repeat & speak louder to him plus today I've agreed a 50% reduction in my fee when I join MMG on a permanent basis. Bought more cotton buds on my shopping spree but these haven't helped either.
The sleep thing isn't really a problem, 5 hrs does me, get plenty of rest at work. Sadly I can't swim but would add I'm not frightened of water, had a shower sometime last week! My exercise amounts to walking up & down the stairs from my office on the 3rd floor to the 1st floor to try to establish why the 7 spreadsheet I have don't tie up even though the base data is the same!! I reckon that 50% of my time is actually spend away from the desk. Does that count as exercise.
The shaving thing is always been an issue with me, never have enjoyed it much since the day I nicked my left shin before entering a cycling competition. Think that in future, will try the waxing method. Thanks for the compliment re: looking more macho, hope it was to me direct, grateful that this time it's come from a female. Great Auntie Di, you've done my confidence the world of good!!!
Apologies
Dear Mr Of Arabia,
I'm so sorry, but I had offered advice concerning your other issues which for some reason didn't post when I sent to publish.
Anyway, concerning your problems with sleeping. I am worried that you do not have a holistic life balance - that is the spiritual, mental and physical aspects of your life! Could I ask you a few questions? Do you spend most of your day at a desk or computer keyboard? Do you rarely take exercise? Are friends beginning to subtly suggest that your face is getting a little fatter than they remembered?
I would suggest that you try to get a little more exercise each day - go swimming, find a gym or take a walk after each meal for about 15 minutes. This should help you to go to bed with a less buzzing mind and sleep much more peacefully - at night rather than during the day. Do let me know you are getting on.
As for the facial hair - I wouldn't worry - just keep shaving - they say hairy men are more macho - the more times per day - the more macho!!
I'm so sorry, but I had offered advice concerning your other issues which for some reason didn't post when I sent to publish.
Anyway, concerning your problems with sleeping. I am worried that you do not have a holistic life balance - that is the spiritual, mental and physical aspects of your life! Could I ask you a few questions? Do you spend most of your day at a desk or computer keyboard? Do you rarely take exercise? Are friends beginning to subtly suggest that your face is getting a little fatter than they remembered?
I would suggest that you try to get a little more exercise each day - go swimming, find a gym or take a walk after each meal for about 15 minutes. This should help you to go to bed with a less buzzing mind and sleep much more peacefully - at night rather than during the day. Do let me know you are getting on.
As for the facial hair - I wouldn't worry - just keep shaving - they say hairy men are more macho - the more times per day - the more macho!!
Friday, 1 August 2008
Great Auntie Di replies
Dear Mr Of Arabia,
Sorry to hear about your MP3 player. Could you check the lengths of each of the wires on your in-ear pieces. I would suggest that one may be longer than the other - and of course it would take the sound longer to travel along the longer wire, therefore becoming fainter - hence - quieter in one ear. Or then again - you might just need to use a quick cotton bud.
I'm slightly more concerned about the affect this relative inconsequential headset issue is having on your mental health. I don't think your hearing is badly affected. Try getting Graham to whisper "You can have a 50% payrise" from 15metres away. I'm sure that will reassure you that your hearing is fine.
Sorry to hear about your MP3 player. Could you check the lengths of each of the wires on your in-ear pieces. I would suggest that one may be longer than the other - and of course it would take the sound longer to travel along the longer wire, therefore becoming fainter - hence - quieter in one ear. Or then again - you might just need to use a quick cotton bud.
I'm slightly more concerned about the affect this relative inconsequential headset issue is having on your mental health. I don't think your hearing is badly affected. Try getting Graham to whisper "You can have a 50% payrise" from 15metres away. I'm sure that will reassure you that your hearing is fine.
Juicy Bits & It's Nothing to Do With Oranges
Actually that title has no relevance to what I'm doing to seek Great Auntie Di's help for. There are two issues.
Firstly, while listening to my MP3 player this week, I thought that the right in-ear earphone (that's what Sony described them as on website) seems to be producing a louder sound than the left. The more I think about it, the more it seems my theory is right. I've tried the one earphone in / one earphone out bit, swapped the earphones R to L / L to R & even resorted to standing in front of the mirror & seeing if the right earphone is pushed in further than the left. I'm now getting a complex & wondering whether I've personally got a hearing problem, a deformary in my left ear or subconsciously, I've been led to think that one is louder than the other. It's now obviously affected me so much that I need some guidance.
The 2nd issue is regarding my sleep. The week just gone, I've been going to bed earlier, around 11-11.30pm & getting up the usual time of 6.30am. I'm now feeling weary alot in the evenings around 6pm & even as soon as 3pm if I've had a big lunch. What should I do, as it's starting to affect my work & more importantly, my ability to write anything of sense on either blog.
Oh, just remembered a 3rd one. For the 1st couple of weeks here, I noticed my facial growth was at a lesser rate than when in N. Ireland, but now it's all changed & the complete opposite. I'm not concerned about giving a poor girl a rash on her face, the abaya takes care of that, but am somewhat worried that my Clinique after shave balm is nearly out & I can't find a replacement one to do the same job. What do I do, I'd thought of a beard as that will not affect by pulling powers here but may make me itch alot. Help me please.
So Great Auntie Di, there's a few problems I'm facing as I start another week. I look forward to your advice.
Firstly, while listening to my MP3 player this week, I thought that the right in-ear earphone (that's what Sony described them as on website) seems to be producing a louder sound than the left. The more I think about it, the more it seems my theory is right. I've tried the one earphone in / one earphone out bit, swapped the earphones R to L / L to R & even resorted to standing in front of the mirror & seeing if the right earphone is pushed in further than the left. I'm now getting a complex & wondering whether I've personally got a hearing problem, a deformary in my left ear or subconsciously, I've been led to think that one is louder than the other. It's now obviously affected me so much that I need some guidance.
The 2nd issue is regarding my sleep. The week just gone, I've been going to bed earlier, around 11-11.30pm & getting up the usual time of 6.30am. I'm now feeling weary alot in the evenings around 6pm & even as soon as 3pm if I've had a big lunch. What should I do, as it's starting to affect my work & more importantly, my ability to write anything of sense on either blog.
Oh, just remembered a 3rd one. For the 1st couple of weeks here, I noticed my facial growth was at a lesser rate than when in N. Ireland, but now it's all changed & the complete opposite. I'm not concerned about giving a poor girl a rash on her face, the abaya takes care of that, but am somewhat worried that my Clinique after shave balm is nearly out & I can't find a replacement one to do the same job. What do I do, I'd thought of a beard as that will not affect by pulling powers here but may make me itch alot. Help me please.
So Great Auntie Di, there's a few problems I'm facing as I start another week. I look forward to your advice.
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